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Rainn Wilson tweeted a little promo for the pilot he made with Mamie Gummer, a police procedural wherein he plays a grumpy, fat, unfiltered cop. Thing is, it actually looks really good! Here’s hoping it gets picked up!

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Watch The Mindy Project Now

I’m not actually recommending this, to be clear, I’m just saying it’s possible.

Thanks to the fine folks at Fox and Hulu, the season 2 premiere of The Mindy Project is available for your viewing… pleasure? I know of one person who’ll be jazzed about this, so for that one person, here ya go.

Fall TV: Mondays

Another night with a fair amount of new programming, so let’s get straight to it:

AT 8:30/7:30c, we have We Are Men on CBS. Following HIMYMWe Are Men follows four men living in an apartment complex known for it’s divorced dudes population. It focuses on one recently single dude, Carter, as he moves in and meets a group of men he can form a bromance with to help him move forward with his life.

NOTABLE FACES: Tony Shalhoub, who I welcome back to my screen (but it slightly bums me out he’s in this because it reminds me that the remake of Friday Night Dinner didn’t work out, and since I find that show hilarious, that bums me out); Jerry O’Connell (for his sake, I hope this show hits, because I found both Carpoolers and The Defenders hilarious, but both were axed after a single season, and he deserves a break); and Kal Penn, my  Indian boyfriend, who I would love to see on a weekly basis (I was so sad when he killed himself on House, but was also impressed that it was so that he could go work at the White House in real friend. He’s crazy smart, y’all!)

UP AGAINSTDancing with the Stars (with a remarkably recognizable cast for once!) (ABC); Hart of Dixie (The CW); Bones (FOX); The Voice (NBC)

Moving on to 9/8c, FOX has a new drama, Sleepy Hollow, that intrigues me. Ichabod Crane is theoretically killed by the Headless Horseman, but thanks to his witchy lady love, is put into the world’s longest coma and wake up in the 21st Century, only to find that the Headless Horseman is still around. And is actually one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse. Because why not?

NOTABLE FACES: Tom Mison, who isn’t a notable face Stateside yet but will be after this, even if it flops, because he’s hot and British; Orlando Jones; and my Korean boyfriend John Cho! (Thank goodness this isn’t airing at 8/7c, or Harold and Kumar would be fighting over ratings, and no best friends should have to fight over ratings!)

Back over on CBS, following 2 Broke Girls, at 9:30/8:30c, is Mom, which is about a single mom 12-stepping her way through life, who was screwed up by her own alcoholic, druggie mom. It looks pretty funny, actually, in a broad way. I like the actors and think they have pretty good chemistry, so I’m hoping this lives up to the trailer.

NOTABLE FACES: Ana Faris as Christy, the single mom; Alison Janney as the mom who screwed her up; French Stewart (a weak point from what I can tell based on the trailer) as Christy’s boss; and Nate Corddry as Christy’s sleazy boyfriend (or so the trailer made it seem)

UP AGAINST: Dancing with the Stars (ABC); Beauty and the Beast (The CW); The Voice (NBC)

Finally, in the 10/9c hour, there are two new dramas.

CBS hoping to captivate us with Hostages, about a family who is held hostage (shocker, based on the title), so that the matriarch of the family will kill the president of the United States, upon whom she is scheduled to do open heart surgery. It sounds intriguing, and looks intriguing, but how long can the suspense be held and how many plot twists will we have to endure? I thought The Following on Fox sounded like a great idea last year, but it quickly devolved into utter ridiculousness.

NOTABLE FACES: Toni Collette as the mom; Tate Donovan as the dad; Dylan McDermott as the main hostage-taker

Then on NBC is The Blacklist, starring James Spader as the most wanted criminal in the US, who for unknown reasons decides to turn himself in and help the FBI catch the other most wanted criminals, most of whom he’s worked with. The catch is that he requests to work with a specific agent, and it’s her first day in the field! I’m sure we’re supposed to spend the whole hour wondering why did he choose that particular agent (the trailer certainly asks it enough times), and I’m sure it’ll be because it’s either a) his daughter, b) the daughter of his ultimate enemy, or c) the daughter of the woman he loved but couldn’t be with since his life was too unsafe as a criminal. If it’s not one of those three, I will actually be shocked.

NOTABLE FACES: Spader, obviously; Harry Lennix (who I know from Dollhouse)

UP AGAINST: Castle (ABC)

PREMIERE CALENDAR

8/7c

Dancing with the Stars (ABC, premieres 9/16)
How I Met Your Mother/We Are Men (CBS, premiere 9/23 and 9/30)
Hart of Dixie (The CW, premieres 10/7)
Bones (FOX, premieres 9/16)
The Voice (NBC, premieres 9/23)

9/8c

Dancing with the Stars (ABC, premieres 9/16)
2 Broke Girls/Mom (CBS, both premiere 9/23)
Beauty and the Beast (The CW, premieres 10/7)
Sleepy Hollow (FOX, premieres 9/16)
The Voice (NBC, premieres 9/23)

10/9c

Castle (ABC, premieres 9/23)
Hostages (CBS, premieres 9/23)
The Blacklist (NBC, premieres 9/23)

P.S. This is another scheduled wonky night, where even though Bones is premiering here, once baseball is finished, it will move to Friday nights, and a new show, Almost Humanwill replace it. I’ll post thoughts on that show closer to its actual premiere date.

Fall TV: Sundays

There’s but a single new show on the network channels on Sundays in the fall, which is good, because Sundays are jam-packed for me already.

The new show is Betrayal on ABC at 10/9c. It’s about a woman who has an affair with a man who turns out to be the defense lawyer on a case her husband is the prosecutor on. It’s very serious looking, and overly dramatic looking. Lots of ennui in the trailer. I don’t recommend it.

NOTABLE FACES: Stuart Townsend plays the defense lawyer; James Cromwell plays the patriarch of the family Townsend’s defending, I believe, and Henry Thomas (Elliot from E.T.) plays Cromwell’s son, I believe.

However, cable tends to put the screws to me a little more, since there are two new shows that look good at this same time, plus a third I likely will never watch.

First up on the cablers is Masters of Sex, about the researchers Johnson and Masters, who studied the physical aspects of sex. It’s got an awesome cast…

NOTABLE FACES: …including Michael Sheen as William Masters, Lizzy Caplan as Virginia Johnson, Beau Bridges as their boss, I believe, Margo Martindale, and Omaha’s Nick D’Agosto as their research assistant, I believe.

Airs on Showtime.

Later in the hour, 10:30/9:30c, over on HBO we have Hello Ladies, a new comedy starring Stephen Merchant as Stuart, a gangly, awkard Brit trying to find a ladyfriend.

NOTABLE FACES: Merchant, obviously; Christine Woods plays the girl I think is going to end up being the one he’s meant to be with; Nate Torrence as his friend (which concerns me, since I tend to find him annoying), and Kevin Weisman, playing another buddy (named Kives) (who I’m also concerned about being annoying)

Finally, there’s Witches of East End on Lifetime. It doesn’t have great, strong actresses in it (I mean, it’s Lifetime), and it’s about two women who find out from their mom that they’re really powerful, immortal witches. Highly unlikely I’ll watch this, but that’s not to say it wouldn’t be someone else’s cup of tea. Probably some light fluff, guilty pleasure watching.

NOTABLE FACES: Julia Ormond, Jenna Dewan-Tatum, Rachel Boston, and Mädchen Amick.

PREMIERE CALENDAR

7/6c

America’s Funniest Home Videos (ABC, premieres 10/6)
60 Minutes (CBS, premieres 9/29)
NFL on FOX/The OT (Fox, both premiered on 9/8)
Football Night in America (NBC, premiered 9/8)

8/7c

Once Upon a Time (ABC, premieres 9/29)
The Amazing Race (CBS, premieres 9/29)
The Simpsons/Bob’s Burgers (FOX, both premiere 9/29)
Sunday Night Football (NBC, premiered 9/8)

9/8c

Revenge (ABC, premieres 9/29)
The Good Wife (CBS, premieres 9/29)
Family Guy/American Dad! (FOX, both premiere 9/29)
Sunday Night Football (NBC, premiered 9/8)
Boardwalk Empire (HBO, premiered 9/8)
Homeland (Showtime, premieres 9/29)
Drop Dead Diva (Lifetime, premieres 10/6)
The Walking Dead (AMC, premieres 10/13)

10/9c

Betrayal (ABC, premieres 9/29)
The Mentalist (CBS, premieres 9/29)
Sunday Night Football (NBC, premiered 9/8)
Masters of Sex (Showtime, , premieres 9/29)
Eastbound & Down/Hello Ladies (HBO, both premiere 9/29)
Witches of East End (Lifetime, premieres 10/6)

Fall TV: Graveyard Shift, aka Friday Nights

Commonly referred to as the death night, it’s uncommon to premiere a NEW show in a Friday night timeslot right out of the gate. It’s more common to wait until it fails, then shift it over quietly. Of course, tv execs like to pretend it’s not the night TV goes to die, but the instances of a show being as successful on a Friday night as it was on another night are rare.

However, it’s a little easier to do when the show is meant to be fluffier than a lemon meringue pie, so it’s not surprising/risky for FOX to be premiereing Masterchef Junior on Fridays at 8/7c. The fluffiest of fluff, it’s Masterchef for kids (which seems to be a trend now, since Food Network just started airing Rachel vs Guy: Kid Cook Off or something like that. No idea when it airs. I can’t stand Rachel Ray. Or Guy Fieri, really.)

It looks entertaining enough- instead of yelling at the kids, it looks like Gordon Ramsay is going to be a bit more helpful and even nearly kind, acting more like a mentor should act. Graham Elliot and Joe Bastianich are also going to be on in more of a mentor-y role than a judge-y role, I believe. PS, those are the NOTABLE FACES since this is a reality show starring kids, and unless you happen to know one of the children, there’s not really anyone else to note.

UP AGAINST: Last Man Standing/The Neighbors (ABC); Undercover Boss (CBS); The Carrie Diaries (The CW); Dateline NBC (I’m not sure what network that airs on…)

Nothing new in the 9/8c hour: Shark Tank (ABC); Hawaii Five-O (CBS); America’s Next Top Model (The CW); Grimm (NBC), plus FOX will be airing repeats- Sleepy Hollow if it lasts, something else if it doesn’t

The other school of thought on what’s okay to air on Fridays is sci-fi leaning shows. Fringe especially wrecked people’s expectations of what a show on a Friday night could do, and I think for awhile The CW was airing some of its superhero-y, sci-fi-y shows on Friday and they did well (not that doing well on The CW means anything, because we’re talking about audiences of around 12 people). But, I think NBC is hoping for sci-Fridays to work for them, because they’re showing Dracula at 10/9c. Obviously, that’s not really sci-fi per se, but like I said, the theory is sci-fi leaning shows- monsters, horror, whatever, let’s shove it on Fridays.

Huge *SPOILER ALERT*: Dracula is about a vampire named Dracula. I know, I know- that’s shocking. The official description is that Dracula is resurrected in 19th century London and seeks revenge against those who cursed him with immortality centuries earlier. And he meets a new chick that looks exactly like One True Love, so there’s that.

NOTABLE FACES: Jonathan “What do you mean I need to look fat to play King Henry? I just thought I’d get to boink a lot of girls and spread disease like the real King Henry…” Rhys Meyers.

(While my sis may be excited for this show, in case you can’t tell, I’m not. It looks dreadful. No amount of British accents could make this okay.)

UP AGAINST: 20/20 (ABC); Blue Bloods (CBS); Haven (SyFy)

PREMIERE CALENDAR

8/7c

Last Man Standing/The Neighbors (ABC, both premiere 9/20)
Undercover Boss (CBS, premieres 9/27)
The Carrie Diaries (The CW, premieres 10/25)
Masterchef Junior (FOX, premieres 9/27)
Dateline NBC (NBC, premieres 9/27)

9/8c

Shark Tank (ABC, premieres 9/20)
Hawaii Five-O (CBS, premieres 9/27)
America’s Next Top Model (The CW, premiered 8/2)
Sleepy Hollow encores (FOX)
Grimm (NBC, premieres 10/25)

10/9c

20/20 (ABC, premieres 9/6)
Blue Bloods (CBS, premieres 9/27)
Dracula (NBC, premieres 10/25)
Haven (SyFy, premieres 9/13)

 

P.S.- After baseball ends, there will be some shifting in the Fox schedule. New episodes of Bones will theoretically air at 8/7c (replacing Masterchef Junior) and new episodes of Raising Hope and newbie Enlisted will air at 9/8c. I’ll give a review of Enlisted closer to the switchover, but it’s got three hot dudes in army uniforms, so, yeah, it’s gonna be a favorable review. Plus it looks a little quirky and zany with heart, which is how I like my comedy.

P.P.S.– I say theoretically to Bones moving to Fridays because it’s been threatened for… well, let’s see, Bones is entering its 9th season, so… for about 9 years now. It’s aired on every night of the week except Fridays, and usually something else gets cancelled and Bones ends up staying put. Of course, this year, the only thing that can really get cancelled to prevent Bones from moving is Sleepy Hollow (Mondays, 9/8c) and since I’m cautiously optimistic about it based on the trailer and clips I’ve seen, I think this might be the year Bones really does move to Fridays.  

Fall TV: Thursdays

Thursdays are another busy night for new shows, so let’s get to it, shall we?

8/7c

Once Upon a Time in Wonderland (ABC) has the longest title of the year- congrats. That’s about the most I can say about it at this point. It’s a spin-off of Once Upon a Time (ABC, Sundays at 8/7c). A few of the characters will make appearances, but the story will focus mainly on Alice and her time on the other side of the rabbit hole. The trailer looks fine- very on par with OUAT, so if you’re a fan of their twisted fairy tale stories, you’ll probably like OUATIW. I personally will pass, because I have up on OUAT last year, so… yeah.

NOTABLE FACES: Newcomer Sophie Lowe plays Alice; Michael Socha from BBC’s Being Human plays the Knave of Hearts; John Lithgow plays the White Rabbit, and I think I heard Naveen Andrews (Lost‘s Sayid) will play Jafar, because I think Alice is in love with Aladdin… or something like that.

Following The Big Bang Theory over on CBS is The Millers, about a man, Nathan, whose divorce inspires his father, Tom, to leave his mother, Carol, so of course Carol  moves in with Nathan, while Tom moves in with Nathan’s sis, Debbie. It looks like it could be funny, actually. It’s brought to us by the mind of Greg Garcia, who brought us My Name Is Earl and Raising HopeThe Millers looks tonally different than those two- a little more broad comedy, focusing on a middle class family instead of white trash (I say loving, since I love both the Hickeys and the Chances). I think most of the cast is great, with one major concern…

NOTABLE FACES: Will Arnett. The only time I can really stand him is as Gob Bluth on Arrested Development or as Devon Banks on 30 Rock. The rest of the time, I want to punch him in the face and yell at him “You’re not as funny as you think you are- shut up!” However, the rest of the cast I absolutely heart- Margo Martindale, who is awesome in everything and I love as Nick Miller’s mom on New Girl (go watch this immediately, because it expires in 3 days), Beau Bridges, who is awesome in everything and just rocked it as the dead dad in The Goodwin Games), Jayma Mays, who was one of the few redeeming parts of Glee and was not just okay, but awesome as the coat check girl on HIMYM, Nelson Franklin, who I loved on his, like, one episode of The Office and the awesome show Traffic Light (see Netflix) that woefully wasn’t picked up, and finally, Happy Ending’s and Scrubs’ Eliza Coupe as Nathan’s ex. Great cast, great EP, really hope Will Arnett doesn’t screw it up!

Meanwhile on NBC, after Parks and Recreation, is Welcome to the Family, boy meets girl, boy knocks up girl, boy and girl’s families have a culture clash. It’s like Fools Rush In, but if Selma Hayek and Matthew Perry had been teens. It makes me think of last year’s The New Normal tonally, and I don’t think it will be horrible, but I also don’t see it lasting long. Again, a shame, because I like the adults in the cast…

NOTABLE FACES: Mike O’Malley, whose been in everything, including playing the most accepting dad of a gay teen in Glee; Mary McCormack from In Plain Sight; Ricardo Chavira from Desperate Housewives (Carlos, Gaby’s hubby), and Justina Machado from Six Feet Under (and briefly Grey’s Anatomy)

UP AGAINST: The Vampire Diaries (The CW), The X Factor results show (FOX)

Moving on to 9/8c

CBS is introducing us to The Crazy Ones, which follows a family-run advertising agency, including the eccentric dad, Type A daughter, and womanizing son. The first episode evidently contains a major client- McDonald’s- and a major guest star- Kelly Clarkson- so critics are hesitant to give a real opinion on the show, since it’s hard to tell what it’ll be like week to week when there isn’t a major company and major guest star. Based on the trailer, it could be funny, or it could be annoying. I don’t see it pairing well with Two and a Half Men, which airs after it, but hopefully they’ll find a different, more appropriate spot for it should it deserve it…

NOTABLE FACES: So many. Robin Williams! Sarah Michelle Gellar! James Wolk! (Mad Men, Happy Endings, Lone Star) and that girl whose name I can’t remember but was on The Mindy Project as the receptionist last year and plays the receptionist here…

Reign (The CW) is a historical drama about Mary Queen of Scots, I think, and has no one in it. I’m sure some people may be into it; not my cup of tea.

NBC offers two new sitcoms where the leads evidently couldn’t be bothered to have a different first name than their real life first names in this timeslot, Sean Saves the World and The Michael J. Fox Show.

Sean Saves the World stars Sean Hayes (Will and Grace, Smash) as a divorced gay dad whose trying to deal with the classic life-work balance issue. It looks dated and bland. Just… no.

NOTABLE FACES: Sean Hayes, obviously; Thomas Lennon as his demanding boss, and Megan Hilty (Smash) as his either coworker of BFF or both, possibly…

In The Michael J. Fox Show, Michael J. Fox plays a TV news reporter, with Parkinsons, returns to work, with Parkinsons, after taking time off, because of Parkinsons. PS, did you know that Michael J. Fox has Parkinsons? Brand new information to me, except for that every single thing he’s been in since being diagnosed with Parkinsons has made a point to mention and explain Parkinsons. Parkinsons.

Overall, it looks like it could be funny, actually, with a bit of heart. I’m just wary, because the clips I’ve seen of the pilot really focus on the Parkinsons, and it really loses its funny quickly.

NOTABLE FACES: Michael J. Fox, obviously; Betsy Brandt (Breaking Bad) as his wife; Katie Finneran (Wonderfalls) as someone named Leigh- I’m not sure how she fits in, but she’s a notable face for me!

UP AGAINST: Grey’s Anatomy (ABC), Glee (FOX)

No new shows at 10/9c. There’s Scandal (ABC), Elementary (CBS), and Parenthood (NBC).

PREMEIRE DATES:

8/7c

Once Upon a Time in Wonderland (ABC, premieres 10/10)
The Big Bang Theory/The Millers (CBS, both premiere 9/26)
The Vampire Diaries (The CW, premieres 10/3)
The X Factor results show (FOX, premieres 9/12)
Parks and Recreation/Welcome to the Family (NBC, premiere 9/26 and 10/3)

9/8c

Grey’s Anatomy (ABC, premieres 9/26)
The Crazy Ones/Two and a Half Men (CBS, both premiere 9/26)
Reign (The CW, premieres 10/17)
Glee (FOX, premieres 9/26)
Sean Saves the World/The Michael J. Fox Show (NBC, premiere 10/3 and 9/26)

10/9c

Scandal (ABC, premieres 10/3)
Elementary (CBS, premieres 9/26)
Parenthood (NBC, premieres 9/26)

Trophy Wife and Back in the Game

As promised, I’ve viewed the pilots of Back in the Game and Trophy Wife, both available on Hulu, and am back to report my thoughts to you.

I was most excited about Trophy Wife, so I’ll start there.

As a reminder, Trophy Wife is the story of a young woman, Kate (played by Malin Ackerman) who meets and weds Brad (Bradley Whitford), a man with two ex-wives and three kids. The pilot was a little busy, honestly. I usually complain about things taking too long to set up, but in this case I feel like there could’ve been a little more. Maybe it was a creative decision, though, to throw us into this hectic life with all these people just like Kate felt thrown in and overwhelmed. It’s not that it does a bad job establishing the characters- we get a good feel for all the characters. Meg, Kate’s best friend, still has a bit of growing up to do; Diane, the first ex, has a bit of a stick up her bum and has some obvious hostility towards both Brad and Kate; Hilary, Brad and Diane’s daughter, shares her mom’s hostility toward Kate; Warren, Brad and Diane’s son and Hilary’s twin brother, is just your basic 15-year-old horny boy; Jackie, the second ex, is more the hippie, scatter-brained type, and her son Bert is a precocious 8-year-old nerd.

Like I said, the pilot was a little busy. There were four basic plots going on, and that’s after the intro of Kate meting Brad: the son was in trouble at school for writing some sexually explicit stories, which Diane and Kate went to the school to talk to the teacher about, and of course Diane assumes they’re about Kate; Hilary plans on going to a concert with her friends, Kate tries to bond with a story about when she went to Lollapalooza, and of course Hilary emulates the wrong part of the story; Jackie and Brad deal with Bert’s dead hamster, and Meg attempts to take Bert to band practice. It’s busy, but good. I very much like the feel of the show, and the characters have good chemistry together. I’m excited to get to know them a little better, and hopefully future episodes feel a little less hectic.

On the opposite side of the coin is Back in the Game, which maybe moved a touch too slow.

As a reminder, Back in the Game is the story of Terry Gannon (Maggie Lawson), a single mom who has moved back in with her emotionally distant, alcoholic father. Both Terry and her father Terry (James Caan), henceforth known as The Cannon, played ball, but Terry the Mom has turned her back on the game. Her son has decided he wants to play, but is a bit spazzy and doesn’t make the team. Terry offers to coach a B-team, much to the A-team’s coach’s dismay. Meanwhile at home, The Cannon continues to be a dick to his daughter, but does have moments where he shows he loves his family.

The exposition was handled through some very clunky dialogue, but it was ultimately a fun 22 minutes. Predictable, sure, but there’s heart there, and if you know me, you know I love a show with heart. I think it’ll make an excellent bridge between The Middle and Modern Family. Now if Trophy Wife could be moved over to Wednesdays after Modern Family, ABC would have a perfect two hour block!

Both shows air on ABC (thus the suggested lineup change)- Trophy Wife Tuesdays at 9:30/8:30c, Back in the Game Wednesdays at 8:30/7:30c. Read my thoughts on the nightly lineups here and here.

Fall TV: Wednesdays

Once again, I’m here to give you, dear four readers, the scoop on what to watch and what to skip in the upcoming months.

Wednesdays are pretty easy, because of the four new shows on, only one actually looks decent!

The first, Back in the Game, is on ABC at 8:30/7:30c after The Middle. Terry Gannon is a recent divorcee/single mom who moves back home with her emotionally distant, somewhat alcoholic father, Terry “The Cannon” Gannon, an ex-baseball player. She played as well, and now her son wants to give it a try. Unfortunately, since she wanted to distance herself from the game (and her father), she evidently never really taught her son the basics, so he sucks. He ends up not making the team, but she and a new friend decide to fund and coach the B team, the ragtag misfits.

NOTEABLE FACES: Maggie Lawson, as Terry the mom (I’m psych-ed (ha) to see her in a starring role rather than supporting role), James Caan doing his thing as The Cannon, Lenora Crichlow from BBC’s Being Human as Terry’s new BFF, and Ben Koldyke (Don, Robin’s ex-boyfriend and co-worker from HIMYM) as the dick dad, Dick, who coaches the A-team.

Pilot available on Hulu.

UP AGAINST: Survivor (CBS), Arrow (The CW), The X Factor (FOX), Revolution (NBC)

Later on ABC, at 9:30/8:30c, is Super Fun Night, after Modern Family. Kimmie and her two BFFs have always strived to have the most awesome Friday nights together, without ever going out. All that changes, though, when Kimime gets a promotion and has to go out to a club to schmooze or something like that. Her BFFs stick with her, but of course are crazy socially awkward. It looks AWFUL. The jokes fall flat, and…

NOTABLE FACES: Rebel Wilson’s Kimmie, an American girl, is not funny one bit, and has one of the worst American accents ever. The only other face I recognize is Liza Lapira, who rocked in Traffic Light and was woefully underused on Don’t Trust the B- in Apartment 23.

It’s up against a new show on The CW, The Tomorrow People (9/8c). It’s about people with special abilities being hunted by a paramilitary group. There really no one I know in it, nor could I even make it through the trailer.

NOTABLE FACES: The name Stephen Amell sounds familiar, but I don’t care enough to IMDB; I think Aaron Yoo played Tibby’s boyfriend on Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants.  (Again, don’t care enough to IMDB.)

UP AGAINST: Besides each other, obviously- Criminal Minds (CBS), The X Factor (FOX), Law & Order: SVU (NBC)

Finally, in the 10/9c slot is a remake of the old drama Ironside on NBC, about a paraplegic cop in NYC, who in real life would be on desk duty, but in the fictional world is still in the field. Again, I could barely make it through the trailer. It just looks bland.

NOTABLE FACES: Hottie Blair Underwood plays the cop; Brent Sexton (Life), and Spencer Grammar (Greek)

UP AGAINST: Nashville (ABC), CSI (CBS), It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia/The League (FXX), South Park (Comedy Central), Top Chef (Bravo), American Horror Story: Coven (FX)

PREMIERE DATES

8/7C

The Middle/Back in the Game (ABC, both premiere on 9/25)
Survivor: Blood vs. Water (CBS, premieres on 9/18)
Arrow (The CW, premieres on 10/9)
The X Factor (FOX, premieres on 9/11)
Revolution (NBC, premieres on 9/25)

9/8C

Modern Family/Super Fun Night (ABC, premiere on 9/25 & 10/1, respectively)
Criminal Minds (CBS, premieres on 9/25)
The Tomorrow People (The CW, premieres on 10/9)
The X Factor (FOX, premieres on 9/11)
Law & Order: SVU (NBC, premieres on 9/25)

10/9C

Nasvhille (ABC, premieres on 9/25)
CSI (CBS, premieres on 9/25)
Ironside (NBC, premieres on 10/2)
It’s Always Sunny/The League (FXX, premieres on 9/4)
South Park (Comedy Central, premieres on 9/25)
Top Chef (Bravo, premieres on 10/2)
American Horror Story: Coven (FX, premieres on 10/9)

The Goldbergs

So, I was just lamenting the lack of pilots to preview, and voila, 3 appeared on Hulu. I am magic.

The three available pilots are Back in the GameThe Goldbergs, and Trophy Wife. I gave you, dear four readers, my opinions on the last two yesterday, and my Wednesday review, which will include Back in the Game, will be out later today.

I decided to watch The Goldbergs first, because I was listening to it while at work, and wanted something I didn’t really care about and want to pay attention to!

Here’s my review from yesterday before seeing anything more than a few promos for the show:

“Set in the 80s, based on creator Adam F. Goldberg’s life, it’s about a kid and his dysfunctional family, who yell everything all the time and are very in-your-face. The main kid (Adam) follows his family around with a video camera all the time. It’s just… not funny looking at all. Not one bit.
NOTABLE FACES: George Segal as the grandpa, Jeff Garlin as the dad, and Wendi-McLendon-Covey as the mom”

Well, while not nearly as horrible as I expected, I can’t say my opinion is much changed after having seen the pilot. I still think all they do is yell a lot; I think the story was a little weak- Grandpa doesn’t want to give up his license even after putting his grandchildren at risk, the middle child just turned 16 and wants a car real bad, and the youngest (Adam) wants to touch a boob. It was bad, but it wasn’t BAD. I mean, I did make it through the entire first episode.

I’m wondering, though, if I’m hesitant to call it bad because I thought the pilot of The Neighbors last year was just awful, but it ended up becoming my second favorite new show of last season (R.I.P. Go On!). But, I feel like The Goldbergs is not The Neighbors. I don’t think it’ll be something that I instantly find hilarious in the second episode; I think it’s going to rely on its 80s shtick a bit much, and I just don’t feel the familial chemistry between the characters. It’s just… bland. It’s not offensive; your life won’t be worse off for watching it, but it definitely won’t be better for having watched it. It’ll just be 22 minutes of your life that were mediocre.

(As always, final judgments are reserved until after the 3 strikes period, which begins with episode 2, since pilots are not always indicative of the quality of the show  in the end.)

I’ll watch Back in the Game and Trophy Wife later tonight and will post my thoughts on those later. Fingers crossed for both; they’re two of the few that I’m optimistic about this year!

Fall TV: Tuesdays

The dearth of entertainment that is summer TV is about to end, and before us… well, frankly, is a dearth of entertainment that is fall TV. Doesn’t look too great this year, folks. Nope, not too great at all. (Granted, this is all based off of descriptions, critics reviews/previews, and the few clips of shows that I’ve seen thus far, since no pilots have currently been released online. Which I find surprising. Would’ve expected a few by now… Unless I’m spot on about how sucky this year is gonna be and the networks are trying to delay the inevitable criticisms…)

Anyway, Fall TV starts for realsies in about three weeks (a few shows trickle out before that, but the week of the 23rd is the big premiere week). In order to get you prepped for the (non-)awesomeness to come, I’m gonna give you a run down of your options on a given night. Since today is Tuesday, let’s start with the Tuesday lineup:

NEW SHOWS

Tuesdays are heavy with the new shows. ABC’s entire lineup is new, which is a bit unusual- usually a network will try to use at least one returning show to anchor a night, but they didn’t have great options, evidently. (I mean, personally I think they could have kept Happy Endings and had it anchor Tuesdays, but whatever, I’m bitter.)

Let’s do this by timeslot, k?

At 8/7c, we have returning shows NCIS (CBS) and The Biggest Loser (NBC). The new shows are:

ABC- Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.

I know people are excited for this one; I’m cautiously optimistic. It screams Heroes to me, but I’m hoping that the great minds behind it (aka Joss Whedon) will keep it from devolving into a mess like that, with too many characters, too many subplots that take too long to tie together, etc. I think it looks fun, and hopefully the characters will be well developed (again, Joss Whedon, so I would expect as much.)  Obviously, it’s a continuation of The Avengers movie, focusing on the S.H.I.E.L.D agents- Coulson, Maria Hill, and ones we weren’t introduced to in the movie. It takes place after “The Battle of New York” (aka The Avengers), so the general pop like you and me, in this world, know about gods and aliens and all kinds of things that we’d been shielded (pun intentional) from in the past.
NOTABLE FACES: Clark Gregg as Agent Coulson, of course; Cobie Smulders will occasionally reprise the role of Maria Hill (hopefully on a regular basis after HIMYM ends, should this get a second season); and Ming-Na Wen (from ER) as Melinda May, a former field op turned desk jockey (looks like maybe she’s a little too into kicking ass from the clips I’ve seen)


The CW- The Originals

A spin-off of a show I don’t watch (Vampire Diaries), The Originals follows a few vampires, that were the original family who sired the main vamps on VD (tee hee, I said VD) in their old hometown of New Orleans. A few of the characters from VD (tee hee, I said VD again) will be jumping ship with following them, as well as a bunch of new characters- witches, werewolves, vampires- the usual lot. 
NOTABLE FACES: I mean, it’s a CW show, so no one really, but- the ones carrying over are Joseph Morgan as Klaus, Daniel Gillies as Elijiah, Claire Holt as Rebekah, and Phoebe Tonkin as Hayley; I believe Leah Pipes is a new character, Camille- she was previously in The Deep End as Beth Bancroft.

FOX- Dads

Brought to us by the one-track mind of Seth MacFarlane, Dads is about two best friends whose dads move back in with them (separately. It’s hard to make this clear in a single sentence- the two best friends both have their own place, and both their dads move into their respective apartments.) It’s full of xenophobic, racist, homophobic, misogynistic jokes- basically Family Guy live action, or Ted sans the teddy bear. Despite a great cast, it just seems like a giant misfire.
NOTABLE FACES: Giovanni Ribisi and Seth Green- who are both 39 and thus seem too old for the man-boy characters they’re playing; Martin Mull and Peter Riegert as the dads; Vanessa Lachey and Brenda Song lend their “talents” as well

FOX- Brooklyn Nine-Nine (8:30/7:30c)

Andre Braugher takes a HUGE step down in awesomeness from last year’s Last Resort. This year, instead of threatening to end the world with nuclear weapons should anyone try to take his submarine away from him, he’s the captain of a police precinct full of weirdos and slackers. It’s going to be full of high-jinx, and supposedly is a zany, workplace comedy. My concern falls in the Notable Faces area, where despite a few awesome choices (Andre Braugher, obviously, and Terry Crews), there are some choices that leave me worried it’s going to be too annoying and not likable (Andy Samberg, Joe Lo Truglio.) Don’t get me wrong, the annoying players CAN be funny, but in small doses, with certain character tupes. Samberg is playing the cocky, rules-don’t-apply-to-me, wise ass detective, and I’m concerned it’s going to be so annoying that I won’t be able to watch.

Now, onto the 9/8c timeslot, two new ABC comedies here:

The Goldbergs

Set in the 80s, based on creator Adam F. Goldberg’s life, it’s about a kid and his dysfunctional family, who yell everything all the time and are very in-your-face. The main kid (Adam) follows his family around with a video camera all the time. It’s just… not funny looking at all. Not one bit.
NOTABLE FACES: George Segal as the grandpa, Jeff Garlin as the dad, and Wendi-McLendon-Covey as the mom

Trophy Wife

Finally, a show I’m actually excited for. Great cast and good concept- a young woman (Kate) marries a man who already has 2 ex-wives and I believe 3 children. The clips I’ve seen look very funny, and there’s going to be a lot of conflict between the ex-wives and the new wife, the kids trying to accept their new stepmom, and Kate’s struggles to grow into this new role she never expected. I think it looks really funny, and hopefully ABC will move it to Wednesdays after Modern Family once the new show Super Fun Night crashes and burns.
NOTABLE FACES: Seriously, a great cast: Malin Ackerman as Kate; Bradley Whitford as Brad, the new husband; Marcia Gay Harden as the hard, judgmental ex-wife; Michaela Watkins as the relaxed, slightly scatterbrained ex-wife, and Natalie Morales as Kate’s BFF

The returning shows in this timeslot are NCIS: LA (CBS), Supernatural (The CW), New Girl/The Mindy Project (FOX), and The Voice results show (NBC).

Finally, ending our evening at 10/9c is a new show on ABC (up against Person of Interest on CBS, Chicago Fire on NBC, and Sons of Anarchy on FX) called Lucky 7. This show follows a group of seven co-workers at a gas station in Queens who win the lottery. There’s the single mom, the sad singleton, the hard-on-his-luck new dad who robbing the gas station when his boss walked in and his cohort puts his boss in a coma, the boss in the coma, the guy who told his wife he was going in on lottery tickets with his co-workers but was really saving the money in an IRA or something boring like that and now isn’t a millionaire, and two more whose stories I either can’t remember from the preview clips are, indicative of what I think this shows downfall will be, didn’t even get shown in the preview clips. I’m highly concerned that there are just too many moving pieces to this show, that it’s going to be too many characters to follow and, like Heroes, will result in people not caring or wanting to follow the show because it’s just too many people and not enough time on the characters they actually like, or the stories never really tie together again, or whatever.
NOTABLE FACES:
The only person I really recognized is Matt Long, who doesn’t have a great track record-  The Deep End, Love Bites, and Jack and Bobby. Plus he was on the final season of Private Practice, so clearly his judgment is impaired.

TUESDAY LINEUP RECAP:

8/7c:

Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D (ABC, premieres 9/24)
NCIS (CBS, premieres 9/24)
The Originals (The CW, premieres 10/15)
Dads/Brooklyn Nine-Nine (FOX, both premiere 9/17)
The Biggest Loser (NBC, premieres 10/8)

9/8c:

The Goldbergs/Trophy Wife (ABC, both premiere 9/24)
NCIS: LA (CBS, premieres 9/24)
Supernatural (The CW, premieres 10/15)
New Girl/The Mindy Project (FOX, both premiere 9/17)
The Voice (NBC, premieres 9/24)

10/9c:

Lucky 7 (ABC, premieres 9/24)
Person of Interest (CBS, premieres 9/24)
Chicago Fire (NBC, premieres 9/24)
Sons of Anarchy (FX, premieres 9/10)

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