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Marry/Date/Kill: Fox Shows

Continuing this game, which at least my sister read, I’ve decided to move on to Fox. Let’s get started, eh?

New Shows: The Mob Doctor, Ben and Kate, The Mindy Project

Once again, a network made it easy on me by only premiering three new shows!

Out of the three new shows on Fox, I’d have to MARRY Ben & Kate, while keeping in mind that the current divorce rate in the US is supposedly right around 50%.

I like the Kate part of the show; she and her daughter are cute. She’s a good mom, who tries hard, and since she spent her young adulthood raising her kid, she’s understandably awkward and goofy around guys. I even like BJ- I thought Lucy Punch might get a tad annoying, since it’s a very one-note character, but so far I’ve liked her. She’s actually a bit more well-rounded than I expected, though still fitting pretty neatly into the “slutty party girl” box.

The Ben part of the show is harder to get behind. He’s incredibly one-note, and that note truly is annoying. He loves his sister, but he loves himself more. He loves Maddie (the daughter), but seems to love himself a little more. He loves his BFF, but loves himself more. He kinda thinks he’s great, when really he’s pretty meh. He’s a manboy, and I’m getting sick of manboy characters (and manboys in general).

In a surprising switch up, I’d have to say that between the two remaining shows, I’d have to choose The Mob Doctor to DATE. Granted, I haven’t watched beyond the third episode, but at least there are actors I care for involved in that show, and theoretically they are actually good actors. I know they’re not really showing it here, with the lack of chemistry all around, wooden deliveries, contrived plotlines, and overall ridiculousness, but my mom likes it, so maybe there’s an audience for it. I guess.

There should not be an audience for The Mindy Project. I would like to KILL that show so hard. I’ve watched all 5 episodes, and I’ve truly liked one episode, and was okay with the pilot. In that one episode, Mindy was mostly annoying, but in the end put herself second and her friends first, which I thought was very uncharacteristic of her, but made for a good episode. In every other episode, it’s Mindy, Mindy, Mindy. She’s the Ben of her own show- all about herself, all of the time. Granted, the show is called The Mindy Project, but that doesn’t mean it should be 22 minutes of Mindy’s self-aggrandizing, out-of-touch-with-reality dictatorship. It’s her way, or else you’re stupid/inconvenient/ridiculous/a jerk. She “deserves” to meet someone awesome, when she herself is not awesome- she is a conceited, self-absorbed twit. If I had someone like her delivering my baby, I would fear for my baby’s life. She’s a female manboy, a womangirl (which just doesn’t have the same ring to it!), and the supporting cast isn’t much better. There’s the handsome, conceited one, the grouchy one, the naive one, and the cool one. Plus occasionally her BFF and child, who Mindy is a complete B towards but it’s cool because she’s just being “real” with the 5-year-old.

I’ve been saying I’d watch one more episode to decide if I was going to keep DVRing it or not, but the more I thought about it, the more I realized there is no point. Even if Mindy does meet an awesome guy, I’m going to spend the entire episode thinking, “She doesn’t deserve a guy this nice.” If she spends an episode whining about how jerky a guy is, I’ll just spend the whole time thinking, “Well, that’s what you get when you’re a self-centered B.” I just can’t do it!

RETURNING SHOWS: Bones, New Girl, Glee

MARRY: Obviously, my choice to marry is last year’s hit, New Girl. I think it’s even better this season, because Jess is much closer to behaving how an actual person behaves, rather than a twee, hipster caricature. Lost Jess is best- let’s hope she never finds a teaching job again! Plus, they’re much more upfront about the attraction between Nick and Jess this year, which is fun. They’re still not handling Winston very well- frankly, I thought he and Shelby had already broken up well before the Halloween episode. I’d like to see them give him a little more to do!

DATE: Bones! I actually broke up with Bones a couple seasons back, because it had become so absolutely ridiculous. I’d solve the COWs in the first 10 minutes, and then get annoyed by the ridiculousness of the show. Bones has become a caricature of her former character, who may not have participated in popular culture but at least knew and understood it. Somewhere along the way, she became entirely out of touch, relying on Booth and Angela and occasionally Sweets to explain basic things to her. Plus, then there were the “subtle” plot contrivances, by which I mean the writers were hitting us over the head so much I thought I had a concussion! Let’s spend an entire episode arguing about religion and the facts around the birth of Jesus Christ, only to have Bones go into labor, but of course they’re 20 miles from the nearest hospital (while in a functioning SUV, meaning they could’ve been there in, ya know, 20 minutes) so instead they stop at a hotel, but wouldn’t you know it, all the rooms are booked for a convention and ew, no, they’re not going to let a pregnant lady inside to give birth! Instead, let’s put her out in the barn, aka manger. SERIOUSLY?! That made me super changry.

So, I stopped watching. But, seeing as though I’m a TV addict, I would read spoilers about upcoming episodes and the occasional review of an episode that had just aired. I kept hearing how awesome this season’s premiere was going to be, because it was going to deal with this serial-killer Pelant who somehow had framed Bones for murder at the end of last season. So, I Hulu’d the episodes from last season that dealt with Pelant, and wouldn’t you know it, they were actually good episodes! So then I watched the premiere this season, and wouldn’t you know it, it was a good episode! Oh sure, the COWs are still easy to solve, and there’s still a bit of ridiculousness, but it feels much closer to the old Bones, the good Bones.

KILL: Glee. I’ve watched most of the episodes this season, mostly because I wanted to see the “revolutionary” approach they were taking to continue the stories of the kids going off to college/leaving Lima, and the kids staying behind. What was that “revolutionary” approach? Eh, no idea. So far, it’s pretty conventional. And also, ridiculous as always. So, in the finale (spoiler alert, but is it really since I’m talking about an episode from MAY!), Finn broke up with Rachel so that she would go to New York and he was going to join the Army. Cut to September, and she’s in New York at school and hasn’t spoken to Finn in months. And yet, still acts like they’re in a relationship and dating new guy Brody would be akin to cheating on Finn. Of course, right as she accepts that Finn and her and over, and starts moving on with Brody, Finn comes back. Ugh, seriously?

Or, Kurt’s been gone in New York for maybe a month, gets an internship at (oh, hello realism, what are you doing alllllll the way over there? Come sit by Glee for a while; they could use ya!), and is soooo busy that he can’t even conduct a 5 minutes phone conversation with the supposed love of his life. So, of course, Blaine cheats on him. I mean, seriously?

Or, how about Puckerman coming back to Lima, Ohio to have a 10-minute conversation with the half-brother he never knew about, to tell new Puckerman that the glee club can change his life if he lets it. Oh come on, seriously? Who paid for that plane ticket?!

Or, based on the previews for the next episode (I think tonight, actually), Mike and Mercedes coming back from I think Chicago and LA to help with their old high school’s school musical? Again, who is paying for these plane tickets? Either their parents are loaded, or the school has an exceptionally generous budget for the musical. I suppose if Mike is in Chicago like I think, maybe he just drove back? And don’t these guys have homework for college? I MEAN SERIOUSLY!!!!!!

So, yeah, kill Glee. Kill it hard. SO RIDICULOUS!


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