Marry/Date/Kill: CBS Shows
So, you all know the game marry/screw/kill game, right? This is a riff off that. I’m going to name some shows on a given network, and say which I’d “marry” (give a season pass to), “date” (watch week to week but am still on the fence about, or don’t watch myself but hear good things about), or “kill” (delete from season pass, or wouldn’t watch OR recommend watching).
First up is going to be CBS.
NEW SHOWS: Partners/Vegas/Elementary
CBS really made this one easy on me, since they’ve already cancelled their fourth new show, Made in Jersey.
First up, KILL: Again, they made this pretty easy on me. I would definitely have to “kill” Partners. I know I’ve said I try to give all shows a 3-strike policy after the pilot, but I couldn’t do it for Partners. I watched the pilot, about 5 minutes of the second episode, and then about 10 minutes of an episode about the girl not having a key to her fiancee’s apartment, when the BFF does have a key. After those 10 minutes, I checked the time left on the episode- I figured it was only 8 minutes or so, since it felt like I’d been watching for awhile already. Wah wahhhhhhh. (That’s a sad trombone, fyi.)
It’s easy to sum up what’s wrong about Partners: there’s no chemistry. There’s no chemistry between David Krumholtz and Michael Urie; there’s no chemistry between David Krumholtz and Sophia Bush; there’s no chemistry between Michael Urie and Brandon Routh- you get the point. The jokes are all duds and all outdated; it’s like KoMut think they’re making Will & Grace again, but even less funny this time.
DATE: I have to choose Vegas to date. I haven’t been watching it week to week, but from the reviews I’ve read, it’s a fairly decent show. It seems like people like it, but don’t necessarily love it. I like Dennis Quaid and Michael Chiklis, but I just couldn’t ever get into it. It seems like a show my dad would like a lot, and he’s got pretty decent taste in shows. I think my mom likes it, too.
MARRY: Elementary. I like the twist of having a female Watson. I also like that the show runners have said that while they are a male/female duo, there will be no will-they-won’t-they action between Watson and Holmes. I’m glad, because those two need to be platonic. I’m hoping they introduce classic Sherlock characters, like Moriarty and Irene Adler. I like both Johny Lee Miller and Lucy Liu as Holmes and Watson and think they’ve got good chemistry. So far, the COWs have been decent- nothing spectacularly new, in my opinion, but intriguing nonetheless.
EXISTING SHOWS: The Amazing Race/The Good Wife/How I Met Your Mother
MARRY: The Good Wife. TGW has really been on fire this year. Almost every storyline has been clicking, with one notable exception that I’ll get to in a bit. I’ve always thought this cast has had great chemistry, and so far the guest stars have fit right in- Nathan Lane as their court-appointed financial overlord (can’t think of the real name for his position), Maura Tierney, even
Cricket Caruth-Reilly Miriam Shor. I’ve really enjoyed the cases of the week, even the first one involving the usually drab son. He kind of came into his own with that episode.
The one negative about this season, and it’s a pretty big one, is the Kalinda storyline. Her husband was brought back and they have this 50 Shades of Grey relationship, where I can never tell if she’s truly scared of him or if she’s getting off on the back and forth between getting beat by him/beating him up. Either way, it’s fairly unhealthy and incredibly BORING. It’s not nearly as scandalous as I figured it’d be, given the blind items about the ice cream parlor scene and Kalinda’s past sexy-sexy times/plots. I just want Nick to get killed off or arrested whatever; it’s awful.
DATE: The Amazing Race is an amazing show, usually- you get to see fairly average people travel to amazing places and do amazing things that the average American would normally never get a chance to do. It introduced me to one of my favorite activities (zorbing) and one of my favorite people (Phil Koeghan). It influenced my trip to New Zealand a few years back heavily, because not only did I HAVE to go zorbing, I desperately wanted to stay at the B&B Phil’s parents own. It was lovely, and they are both incredibly kind people. We even met a childhood friend of Phil’s, because he was also staying at the B&B. However, this season is just not doing it for me. To be fair, I am lying- I’m not watching week to week, I do still have a season pass for this show. However, this last week’s episode was nearly unwatchable, save for the beginning when James or Abba found out his father had stage 4 cancer. It was a very real moment, and my heart very much went out to James or Abba (I don’t know which one is which! There’s too much hair!). However, once they checked in, I checked out. I couldn’t stand the thought of listening to the twins yell “Go twinny! Do it for the brownies!” one more time. I literally don’t like a single team this season. They are either annoying or just incredibly bland. Plus, the places they’ve gone don’t seem that original, nor do their tasks this season. It’s not really that entertaining watching people carry around different lengths of bamboo. I’ll keep watching, but it better get more interesting fast!
KILL: How I Met Your Mother. Again, I’m actually lying here. I’ll still be watching week to week, but only because I’ve already invested 7 seasons into finding out who the mother is and rooting for Robin and Barney to get together (okay, that’s actually only been, like, 5 seasons). They dropped a somewhat massive hint about the great Meeting- we know where and vaguely when it happens (Robin and Barney’s wedding day), and then not a word. Not a forward momentum to be found. Just treading water. Tread, tread, tread. Maybe some of the events of this season would’ve been more impactful if we didn’t know they were coming, but we did. We knew Barney and Quinn had to break up. We know that Robin and Nick, and Ted and Victoria, will be breaking up. They’ve told us as much, and even if they hadn’t, we know they do because Robin ends up with Barney and Ted ends up with a woman with legs and her yellow umbrella and a guitar case. A girl who is pretty dumb, by the way, because even if you do have an umbrella, why would you keep standing in the rain instead of moving under the awning or whatever you want to call a structure that is just a roof? Anyway, HIMYM needs to be getting the show on the road here, because this loyal viewer is getting to the breaking point. It doesn’t need to be meeting the mother, but SOMETHING needs to happen, and fast.
So, there ya go. The marry/date/kill game for TV shows. How do you feel about the six shows mentioned?